her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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