At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
