VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
