quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
