On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize