Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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