I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize