Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
