Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
