im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
