I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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