you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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