If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
