don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
