his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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