So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
there's paper in my vomit.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
