she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
