i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
