Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
