Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
