worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
