you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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