God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
