I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
