I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
