So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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