so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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