Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
