I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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