I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
