They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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