Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
