wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
