erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
