Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
