I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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