I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
