Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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