We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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