it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
