Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
His nipple licking is glorious
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