i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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