Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
