I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
