Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Michael Bay diarrhea
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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