awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
