Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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