I just saw a hot homeless man
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
