Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
