Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
