I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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