i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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