Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
