If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I want to stick my p in your. b.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
