rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
