It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
this hospital has no fireball
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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