ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
