It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
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