one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
