and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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