my soul wont recognize me after tonight
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
