wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
