Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
