I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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